Sworn witness · No. 08 of 12

Mama Marsh-Hopper

PeePoo's mother (and the other one's, regrettably)

Sworn to corroborate Charge § 09.1 — a mother's read on the forgery

Sworn Affidavit

Sworn statement of Mama Marsh-Hopper, mother of the twins, entered into file PP-08-21-9420. The witness brought snacks for the jury and was gently informed she could not. She left them anyway.

I carried both those boys in the same clutch and I raised them the exact same way, which is the cruelest thing about all this — because you cannot tell yourself you did something different when they came out this far apart. Same reeds. Same lullabies. Same 'be kind to what's smaller than you.' One of them took it to heart. One of them took the ladle.

A mother knows which tongue is which. I don't need a lamp or a lab or a certified flycatcher, bless her. I fed those tongues. I know the flat one and I know the one that started curling around season three, when he learned that a curl gets you the bigger mayfly if nobody's watching. PeePoo never curled. Not once. He'd rather go hungry than reach for what wasn't offered. He did, some seasons. Went hungry. I noticed. Mothers notice.

Here is the plainest evidence I've got and it's more honest than anything in that locker: only one of my boys still sends me checks I can actually cash. Every one clears. Every one's signed flat and true and comes with a note asking after my knees. The other one sends me things too, from across the pond where I'm told I mustn't name him. His checks bounce. His notes ask after my will. A mother knows which tongue is which because a mother banks both of them.

I love them both. I have to; I'm their mother. But loving them both is exactly why you should believe me when I say they are not the same. If I were lying to save a son, I'd lie to save the guilty one — that's the son who needs saving. Instead I'm here telling the truth to free the innocent one, which does the guilty one no good at all. That's how you know it's the truth. It costs me a child either way.

Cross-Examination

Mrs. Marsh-Hopper, you're the defendant's mother. Isn't every word of this exactly what a mother would say to save her son?: I'm both their mother, dear. If I only wanted to save a son, I've got two to pick from and I picked the one who didn't do it. A mother covering for a criminal covers for the criminal. I'm doing the opposite. Sit with that.
The 'curl around season three' — is that observation or a mother's hindsight?: It's a feeding chart. I kept one, like all mothers of twins do, so I'd know who ate what. The bigger mayflies started going missing from PeePoo's side around season three and turning up on his brother's. I have the chart. It curls right where the tongue did.
Could you simply be mistaken about which twin signs which checks, given they're identical?: The checks that clear come from the son who folds his neighbor's cattails. The checks that bounce come from the pad I mustn't name. I don't tell them apart by face. I tell them apart by whether the bank laughs when I walk in. It doesn't laugh at PeePoo's.
No further questions.: Then eat the snacks. I made too many. And free my boy — the one who'd have made them with me.

Testimony sworn, logged, and cross-examined. Feeding chart entered as supporting exhibit. Do not remove pins. Do not eat the pins.

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