Sworn Affidavit
Sworn statement of Flossie, certified forensic flycatcher, Swamp PD lab. Qualified as an expert in tongue-print analysis over the prosecution's objection. The objection was overruled. She then overruled the prosecution.
I catch flies for a living and I read tongues for a calling, and the two are more related than you'd think. A tongue tells you everything. Speed, reach, honesty. I have analyzed eleven thousand tongue-prints in my career and I have never seen two frogs share one — until this clutch. Identical twins print nearly identical. Nearly. The whole science lives in the 'nearly.'
I took the print off all seventeen forged checks in Exhibit B and laid each against PeePoo's reference cast from Exhibit A. Here is what I found, and I'll stake my whole proboscis on it: the base of the print matches. The mid-strike matches. And then, at the very tip, on every single check, the forgery curls to the left — a little hook, a little grab. PeePoo's tongue has never hooked in its life. It extends and it returns, flat and true, like a frog who has nothing to reach for that isn't already his.
That curl is not random. It's a signature. It's the tell of a frog who learned, somewhere, to take. I measured it seventeen times and got the same three-degree hook seventeen times. Random distortion doesn't repeat to the degree. A habit does. A twin who has spent his life curling his tongue around other frogs' things does.
So no — the tongue on those checks does not belong to PeePoo. It belongs, by every measurement I am licensed to take, to the other twin. The one across the pond. I've never met him. I don't need to. I've met his curl seventeen times and that's a more thorough introduction than most frogs get.